I can feel it in every pulse
my heart grows sick and heavy
my blood curdles in my veins

•
I have heard of this pain and anger
and have tried my best to avoid its many dangers
yet here I am

•
stricken on the ground, breathing dirt into my lungs
with every thought of hate towards you
my life grows more fleeting still

•
at one time forgiveness came so easy
I thought it to be a gift
and now I find it’s been stolen

•
I cry out in agony
as the terrors of my own evil
are slowly engulfing me

•
suffocating in my own nightmare
I wake up
only to find that the nightmare is me

•
weeping, wailing, screaming
longing for the freedom that I once knew

•
I feel a part of a grand drama
an attempt to make everyone think I’m not dying
in the depths of me

•
tucked away safe
where no one can reach

•
so many times I wish that I could simply give it all back

•
all the memories
all the tears
all the laughter
I don’t want any of it
it’s all making me so sick

•
for the first time in my life I have a regret
selfish as it may be

•
I wish to have never known you

•
but I find that I can’t flee from what has already passed
and so the pressure keeps building
and I can feel the slow collapsing of my chest

•
I’m tired of fighting this battle
in which I am both sides

my preference for you, the enemy of myself