The last couple of nights I’ve not slept much – both for different reasons… But this tiredness I’m feeling, thinking about the day aheada and already wanting to go back to bed, is quite distracting… Not all of my doziness is from the poor sleep though.

We got my sister moved in the day before yesterday. She’s got some final things to take care of at her old place today but as of Friday she’ll be living here with grandma and me full time. I’m so excited.

We’ve been talking a lot about goals we can accomplish and projects we can do together. I’m looking forward to a productive spring and bountiful summer here at the Bailey Manor…

Yesterday Mr. Handsome took Moriah, her boyfriend and I up to a local crystal vein. We found some beautiful snowy quartz and some small peices of Amazonite, smoky and clear quartz. I also found something that looks like black tourmaline but need to do some more research to be sure.

My FitBit activity stats are currently the best they’ve been all year… But my sleep stats are at their worst.

It’s been a good, long week – already

… and it’s only Thursday morning.

I suppose that’s why I feel I need to start over and get my head on straight again. I’m all discombobulated…

Home again… What do I still need to get done this week? What are my priorities the next few days before another week begins?

Today is the last day of February too, which also begs reflection. Where am I at? What have I accomplished this month as opposed to what I had hoped I would accomplish when I was looking forward at this time last month?

Perhaps it’s all these questions that are making me feel immovable? Perhaps it is just the good and sunken in tiredness… Regardless, I am at a pause.

When in doubt, I always start with the heart(h)

The hearth (or kitchen as we now call them) of a home is the heart of a home. At least in the magickal or esoteric sense, this warm, nourishing and inviting location is symbolic of the heart chakra, or the center of love and goodwill. For this reason, I always start and end my cleaning in the kitchen.

Only have time for one task? I do the dishes. Only have time for one errand? I fill the fridge with groceries. Hardly conscious and too mentally out of it to know what I’m supposed to be doing? I get my ass in the kitchen and start tossing trash, putting things where they belong and wiping down things…

I do this for two reasons. The first is because I can very easily remain immovable. Left to my own mind, I can entertain myself for hours without even moving. I cannot “think” myself into action, but I know I can think myself out of it quite well.

By simply taking action, having the kitchen be my “go” room, I get to skip all the excess mental chatter and jump right into a flow. None of the subsequent tasks are ever as difficult as the first one for me, but “deciding” and “prioritizing” can render me useless in no time.

Secondly, for the esoteric affiliation I mentioned above. The heart chakra is the center of the bodily chakra system, anchoring both the 3 lower/material chakras and the 3 upper/astral chakras to the core of one’s own personal gravity. It is the unifier. By taking action in the heart of my home, I am symbolically “getting right to [my own] heart” as well.

A mystically charged existence

This is just one of the multitude of small ways I enchant my life. I make meaning in all I do, even when I’m tired and “out of it.” This is just who I am…


Bumping around on the back roads of the Colorado wilderness, I’m lost in the beautiful, blurred and hurried movement of the dirt, grass and trees.

Hiking through the knee high snow my senses delight in the cold squishing and sliding.

Crisp mountain air in my lungs, warm spring sun on my face – I’m lost to absolute bliss…

And here too: sudsy- soft soap bubbles, swept delicately away and cascading off my hands with crystal-sparkling, warm water…

Chills up my spine and tingles down my legs, I smile at the sensations of my beingness.

Here at the hearth, doing the same-old, routine yet nurturing work – I am blessed by my blessings. I am fulfilled. I am at peace…

No matter any chaos or the changes that may come, my heart overflows with gratitude and love.

There is a bridge that leads to no where
Crossing a mountain river, too wild to swim
There is a tree that grows on the other end
Half its roots in water, half buried in rocky land



I found this tree as an old crone led me free
We were going no where to look for no thing



Still – a mentor had always been waiting for me
Tall, strong, beautiful and proud – no sign of tilt


Yet, as we grew closer, the truth we could see
Its foundation divided between rock and silt



Soggy tendrals burrowing straight down deep
While roots on mountain’s side stretch out wide


Two of the roots come out to form a circle
Place permeating abstraction, inviting me in –
Silence and timelessness fully consuming
The briefest of moments to bind us eternal


No weary compalints or worries left in me
Now: only solutions to provide steady thriving –

with no hesitation – she takes her time

looking into her realiy’s texture

designing its edges and frills


delicacy and wonder drip endlessly from her

emerging only in part, the rest in mind

she’s inviting and dangerous at once


she makes you ask where you are going

makes you ponder a moment longer

no promises – she is adventure


free as nature’s splendor, she dances

furious, graceful – unbound glory

if she is ever afraid, she smiles


goddess of surrender and faith

mistress of divine cycles –

Forbidden, misunderstood: freedom.

A lot has happened the last couple days. My sister had a birthday party and I was out of town celebrating both last night and this morning. Seeing several friends along the way.

I got home this afternoon and my other sister came by to visit. I’m just now settling in and, wow… I’m tired.

I’m thankful for the opportunity to enjoy, appreciate, learn from and grow with so many wonderful, inspiring and passionate beings. I had several stimulating conversations and am processing a lot…

The excitement of coming lifestyle changes and adventure plans to be enacted; challenging my perspective and experience biases with regard to mindfulness in conversations about race and nationality; confronting the lasting, taxing affects of trauma in order to reclaim the joy and blessing of giving our best for a possibility of a better future…

Lots of hugs. So much love and joy. Many smiles. Some tears. Laughter. Gratitude: alive…

So alas ~ I am damn good tired. Goodnight world 🙏