Poetry

Learning to love: my ego

She makes it easy to dislike her

Hasn’t always been a good woman

Doesn’t believe in settling down

She can be hurtful, demanding and selfish

She’s a heartbreaker without flare

Just honest, but her truth hurts sometimes

She’s fucking brash

Isn’t afraid to speak her mind

Isn’t afraid to not be liked

Isn’t afraid – except to be afraid

She holds her own

Not by engaging in comparison

Not through any form of competition

She’s inglorious

Infamous

Dangerous to follow

Doesn’t want to be the leader

Still gets cast the fickle hero

Still has to learn to let go

Learning her innocence

Fighting for freedom from her hells

Won’t be pinned down by any devil

Even those dressed as gods

Won’t give up on any rebel

Even those without cause

Won’t sit down or shut up

Even for applause

She’s recklessly but deliciously flawed

Still here for reason

Through phases and seasons

To witness enchantments divine

Playing with the fabric of life

Celebrate the weave of grand design

By feeling it, stroking it, holding it

Making this pleasure mean something

If only to me, or what this ego believes

This will be the legacy of Mayryanna

To seek and find and lose and seek again

To never falter on pushing farther

Beyond her comfort to bliss

Beyond the limitations of yesterday

Into possibility’s endless expanse

Losing herself in repetition

Allowing herself to become life’s rhythms

The music for existence’s dualistic dance