I remember moments of heart ache

so deep

so splintered

Feelings of disparity

Woeful living

Waiting to die

The pains I have now

so different

so sweet

Feelings of gratitude

Fully living

Unafraid to die

My laughter weighed with tragedy

I do not simply do anything

Saturated in my truth

it bleeds

at every

edge

Hate me for my playful smile

but it is hung on trappings of loss

Not to cover but to soften

to lessen the gaping of my love’s cost

Ridicule the songs I peacefully hum

not knowing they were battle cries

That they are the echos

of my tattered heart, still haunted

And as I learn to love, imperfectly

reminding myself to be kind

Nurturing compassion for the forsaken

my name starts the line

I don’t need to have it all

or even to only have the pleasant

Letting go of wanting more

to revel in the beauty of sparseness

Holding my pain like treasure

honoring the lessons within

Accepting the divine wonderments

Untaming the monsters

Rewilding the earth

Reenchanting the cosmos

Dancing amidst death’s endless rebirth

Accepting the here beyond space

Falling through reality, passed time