Got DRAGON nails for the showcase!

Still learning to work with them though! So, this is my attempt to sum up a lot:

I’m art-ing:

In process set peice

It’s been lots of fun! So has getting messages about an ongoing creative project that make me smile (more on this to come SOON):

Illustrations by Violetta Nyx

Super grateful, aaand can’t be bothered by subtle plan changes or other shenanigans.

Showcase is Thursday, I’m starting Kundalini teacher training next week and have my White Tantra workshop this Friday.

I’m looking forward to shifting gears and cruising into fall after this end of harvest BANG!

Oh. And I have plans for you my lovies. Yay!

With the spiritual new year fast approaching as Samhain is just over a week away, I have been quite distracted in the background of my existence, considering the milestones I will allow this to mark for me… I am feeling steadily called in the direction of simplicity, reclamation and void – creating space without the need of filling it, opening up beyond what I know – even more than ever before… I have gingerly entertained the idea of starting a “no thing” year at the dawn of 2020, ignoring my heart’s prompting to begin it before the holidays because, well honestly, Christmas is easier when you can just buy things for people (and I love buying things for people).

Alas, I cannot persist in ignoring this itch for a more soulful and conscious existence though –

Beginning Nov. 1st I will no longer be purchasing “things.” More explanations to come, but for now, I needed to make the declaration so I can start moving in that direction and adjusting my perspectives 🙏 Thank you for being available Citizens of the Internet, to receive and hold it, serving as my accountability ❤

For those of you that didn’t know, I was married once. He was someone I tried to save from himself, and I lost myself in the process. Still, it’s all been for the best, making me the woman I am.

So, here’s an old poem – from a past I barely recognize:

I fell in love with a con man

He was lying the very day we met


Told me twists and turns of detailed stories, only partial truths or complete bullshit


He’d learned the hard way, of that much there was proof, and so I went along hoping every last word was truth


From behind big blue eyes, he swept me away – what can I say, that con man’s words made me want to play his game


The way he loved me was incredible, made me feel like when he held me he was coming home –


Ecstasy soon turning into a bad trip, a deadly rollar coaster, but I still rode with him –


I fell in love with a criminal, a man who’d done what he thought he had to do, and he’d done it far too many times to realize he could choose –

The lies started to bleed and I began to feed on delirium, insecurity overcoming me making me come unhinged


Something about the way he laughed when he was truly happy, the way his eyes devoured my body and the touch of his hands!


I fell in love with a blue eyed devil, a class act playgirl fantasy

I let him lead me astray, keeping his secrets to this very day, despite his most brazen offenses against me –


I fell in love with a con man, how could I have expected any different?


I couldn’t blame him for his sorted past

Or the hurt little boy who was always staring back


I felt his pain, or at least the parts he wanted me to

I fell in love with a con man, and I always knew –


Yea, somehow I always knew, and I still laid myself bare, daring him to make his move and finally prove that the love he said he for me was as true…


Still, I knew… Still it burned, as his fiery heart consumed – all I had…

Ooh, I was conned by the man I loved – I listened and then got learned…

I thought I knew, thought if I could be bad too he couldn’t hurt me the way that he did…


I gave my innocence to a grand larcenist, ooh I watched as he drank me in and what came back out was stronger, but more putrid too…


Ooh that criminal, I’m that Casanova’s fool –


I learned to love from a con man – he taught me to trust and then how to break it bad…


Don’t you dare

Don’t you entertain –


‘Cause even though I may seem sweet and lovely – I can guarantee that you don’t want to play this game –

I’ve been tainted and mamed 


Ooh oh oh oh – run away

I’m not the most nostalgic person. Or so I’ve always thought.

I don’t have keepsakes or buy myself souvenirs when I travel (though for others is a different story). I’ve enjoyed getting older and truly believe the best is yet to come. Yet, I also still have friends from childhood and revel in memories often.

Today I saw an old friend. I drove my niece and nephew to hang out with her and her kids. It’s actually been several years since we’ve really even hung out, yet, we picked up like we never skipped a beat.

We talked about the past – memories and nostalgia. We swapped stories of thens and nows, catching each other up on various things. Surprisingly unsurprised that our paths shared similarities even as time and space had separated us.

Despite everything, all the changes and differences we’ve undertaken, what we shared in the past was no more real than our connection now. The nostalgia was underwhelming because the present was fully enveloping.

So perhaps that’s it? I’ve never really felt nostalgic because I’ve never truly felt better about the past than I do the present. Granted, I’ve markedly and purposefully improved my life so there is some bias as well, but I find the possibility interesting enough to keep exploring.

Perhaps that’s also why tradition has never felt quite right to me either.

I’ve always wondered why just because something has been done, it should continue to be done. I was a terror at holidays, always refusing to participate in decorating or festivities because no one could tell me why we were doing them. The Christmas tree was the worst: “why are we killing a tree? Why do we bring it inside? Why are we decorating? Why does the whole family come over?”

Interestingly, once I could apply present purpose to the seasonal commotion I became a much jollier person. Paganism taught me about Yule and Saturnalia, and suddenly bringing greenery and raising the spirits of your loved ones through shared meals made sense. The ancient customs weren’t about religion as much as combating what we now call seasonal affective disorder. We celebrate to inspire joy, and that makes sense to me so I’m perfectly content now.

I missed my friend Heather. I could’ve talked myself out of reaching out to her, I have before, but I didn’t. I could’ve just been nostalgic, but I made my feelings something actionable instead. I’ve brought the past and the present together, creating more opportunities of the same in the future, and I’m grateful I did.

I don’t want to think about how things were or could have been, I want to create my bliss in every moment. Even if that means doing more about what I’m tempted to miss or iconify.

sitting: mostly behaved

mostly silent, in a corner


watching: everything

the movement all over


wispers trickle through

twining twisted wickedness


voices about voices

words about words


caught up in our meta

we: beta: creating data


obsessed with: making

meaning from dry bones


our blood: running both

hot and cold; no warmth


too many passions to be

passionately free – simply


yet, here is the “somehow”

we have the real magick


sure we’re still playing, but

at least we know: we’re playing!


we know enough to “cheat”

we know how to challenge


and challenge, oh, we do

we challenge ourselves


ever tearing open, just to bleed

falling to feel the air beneath us


taking risk after risk, forever

daring fortune to favor us –