Category: Milestone

Following the Signs to Splendor

I’m 30,000 feet above the earth, flying home to Denver right now. Alas, as every trip must, my campervaning adventure has come to an end.
It’s been an interesting week. In true traveling-during-Mercury-retrograde fashion I’ve experienced technological problems (lost my brand new FitBit, had horrible cell service and cracked my phone’s screen) and communication problems (disagreements, misunderstandings and all out arguments between my coadventurers), making the journey a bit of a bumpy ride…. Even before getting sick and not sleeping well all week.
Still, none of that seems important in light of the mysterious blessings and synchronicities I also experienced this week. Many small things – playful little kisses from the universe – were sprinkled throughout my days as per usual… But the most significant was something I’ll never be able to forget.

It all began with my unknowing participation

I bought a book on Nordic Runes when I was passing through Iceland last fall on my way home from Europe. I had yet to even crack it open, so I decided to bring it with me on this trip – now I wonder if things would have unfolded the way they did if I hadn’t…

We were driving from Cape Flattery to the Hoh Rainforest and made a quick stop for water… That turned out to be anything but. We had stumbled into a food co-op operated by an expatriate Australian couple and were enjoying the variety of miscellaneous supplies and wares in the shop when they offered us Master Rune readings. Of course we could not refuse.
Prior to even sitting down, the woman was already reading us – mentioning things to my sister and friends about themselves that she simply shouldn’t have known… And telling me some things that were both shocking and resonant as well. Perhaps in the future I will talk about these things more specifically, but for now I feel they are still for me to continue processing.

The readings were all dead-on and we enjoyed visiting with this enigmatic couple for hours, eventually purchasing lunch and carrying on like old friends, hugging them repeatedly when we were finally able to pull ourselves away to leave. I purchased their self-published volume on the Master Runes system they created that combines the Nordic Runes and two other ancient runic systems with a few other symbols the woman had channeled herself. I also bought all of the corresponding Master Runes.

Not a beginning, an acceleration

This is not my first set of Runes. I have a beautiful collection of Amazonite crystal Norse Runes at home. This is also not the only system of Divination I am familiar with. By the time I had started learning Tarot and what Divination really is, I had already amassed a collection of Pendulums, Oracle Decks and had my first set of Runes. I remember joking with my more esoteric friends, “do you think I have a propensity for Divination at all?”
I told this joke to the lady at the shop before my reading too. She and I had an unexplainable and unspoken connection. It was almost like we kept sharing inside jokes throughout our time together, sometimes with only mere glances.
Somehow, spontaneously finding this shop in the middle of nowhere seemed anything but accidental. I recalled saying “ooh, a food co-op,” the first time we drove through the little town on our way to the cape but remained quiet as we left and one of the girls said “your welcome! Aren’t you all glad I saw that place for us to get water?”

I had remained quiet through a lot of things – it seemed that as much as this experience was for me, it was for all of us in different ways, and I didn’t want to diminish that for anyone with petty semantics… It was enough for me to know that the energy of that place was calling to me, I didn’t need to group to validate it for me.

Perhaps it was just simple physics. The Icelandic book on Nordic Runes in my bag reaching out energetically to entangle us with the Master Runes and their teachers… Perhaps it was destined and nothing could have kept us from stopping at that little food co-op. Regardless, I am grateful.

Returning home to get to my true soul work

One thing is for sure: I feel activated. A major shift has taken place within me… Healing.
It’s as if a great divide between my heart and my mind has suddenly diminished and I am no longer fighting against empty space of possibility and paranoia within myself. I feel whole. I feel accepted, by myself.

I have had many shifts in my life, many blessings and many changes – but somehow, this experience has made sense of all of them without the construction of understanding… I simply know myself now. Intuitively, my spirit feels at home within me, my soul is content with this lifetime’s quest and there is a subdued joy and peace consuming my being.
I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is hard work and many challenges to come, and I appreciate these opportunities already. I feel my strength and power in ways I didn’t know were possible – like the quiet and gentle assurance of your mother’s hand rubbing your back while you sleep, it isn’t obtrusive but it is permeating… This is how I am now feeling my readiness to fulfill my calling.

No more doubts. No more excuses. No more shame.
Ready or not world, Mayryanna is full and overflowing –

Tree in the middle of Olympic National Forest

Dreams do come true

Sitting at my desk in the Orientation and Transition Programs office of Colorado State University, I browsed StumbleUpon intermittently between my office management duties and planning my transfer mentor activities and meetings. I clicked through an endless stream of beautiful pictures and funny videos, as well as the occasional article… For all intents and purposes, I was wasting time.

However, one of those unassuming days nearly a half-dozen years ago, I stumbled across something that would ultimately change my life: High Existence. This progressive, philosophy filled, mind-bending and spirit-evoking website reached out to me from the endless abyss of the world wide web and gave me hope… There were other people out there asking weird questions and exploring the infinity of possibility!?

Not for lack of doubting

Today, I received word that MY first article written for High Existence has been published. The amount of honor and gratitude I feel are astronomical.

When I was asked to write for the website a couple months ago, I was absolutely elated – but this feeling is something else entirely. There’s a weight of accomplishment accompanying it that far exceeds the final word count of the article…

Indeed, it was months ago that I was given the opportunity to write for HE. Despite studying creative writing in university, writing online professionally before and even writing every day for years, it took serious time for me to write this piece.

After the initial shock and awe wore off, I was terrified. I was confronted by my limiting beliefs, self-doubt and self-sabotage… I got one topic approved, wrote an article and then another, so dissatisfied and insecure – I eventually trashed the entire topic and all those efforts in order to avoid complete, self-inflicted burnout and overwhelm.

The published article did come from my second approved topic, but it was still the third conceptualization of that idea. Even after finally submitting it, I still hadn’t shaken all of my doubts and fears about it’s content and quality. Yet – here it is today, live for myself and the entire internet to see: Dymistifying Magick.

My article on the front page of High Existence 🙏

A global tribe; a universal family

The absolute truth is that without the support and encouragement of my creativity coach Jordan Bates, the accountability and inspiration of my fellow creative muses Maria and Mayella, the love and community of our Apotheosis family as well as the guidance of the High Existence team, I would not have succeeded in overcoming my personal dialogs of self-depreciation. This article is a tribute to each and every one of these incredible world changers.

It is also a love letter to any soul seeking the incredibly blessed (high)existence that I have found because of this website. How privilaged, that I might offer the same hope that I experienced all those years ago to others through my own words.

It may have started with just curiosity, just a small bit of hope, but that seemingly “wasted” time that led me to discovering HE has become some of the most profoundly meaningful time I’ve ever spent in my life. That boredom-fulled curiosity ultimately freed my soul, nourished my spirit, challenged my mind, comforted my heart and impassioned my life… My curiosity led me HOME.

Beyond all my wildest expectations

This time last year I was preparing to attend Apotheosis 1.0 in Costa Rica. I had seen that HE was offering a retreat and simply had to apply – very few things have felt so necessary in my life.

I was accepted to attend and I almost couldn’t believe it. I was finally going to meet these like-spirited people I’d been reading articles from for all these years. My excitement wasn’t quantifiable or understandable, even by me, yet it could have never been a sufficient match for the amount of blessing I was about to receive.

Apotheosis changed my life (my next article I’m working on for HE goes into this in depth). Apotheosis hasn’t stopped changing my life… Even this blog is a result of that retreat (and of that fateful internet browsing all those years back).

The relationships I developed at 1.0 and then further nurtured at the second retreat in Amsterdam last fall, the vulnerability and support of this incredible community, the accessibility and grace of the HE team and retreat facilitators… My gratitude and astonishment are beyond words… I have been given so much by something I could have just as easily ignored.

And so, I’d like to leave you with a challenge: dare to let life surprise you with its blessings – follow your curiosity, take risks and trust in your soul’s authentic journey. You never know which small things will the biggest differences.

My bio for HE