Astrology, Numerology and Divination are tools used by mystics to channel messages from the Divine. All guidance and understanding offered by mayryanna for Optimal Mastery is channeled for Awakened Souls and will be applicable only to those who are seeking to harmonize with the grand symphony of life. Sun sign astrology, horoscopes and more personalized divination are not published for general consumption on OM. For personal quandaries or specialized guidance, please make an appointment with mayryanna.

At 12:12am EST time today, December (12) 12, 2019 (which numerologically reduces to 12), we had our Gemini moon reach peak fullness. The final full Moon of the decade, it seems to be signaling a powerful wave of competition. 12 is a magickal number, considered an angel number, that signifies fulfillment, wholeness and completion.

In the 12 we see a beautiful unity formed between the individual 1 and the partnering 2, which then numerologically reduces to 3, the number of manifestation, fertility and family. It is the number of promises fulfilled, though not necessarily dreams come true. It represents the fruition or consequences of choices, partnerships and experiences.

Personally, I intuit the number 12 to represent the individual in relationship to the divine. It is the perfect, sometimes wonderful and sometimes terrible, but always true reflection of life manifest.

So what does not one, not two but five 12s symbolize? As if there haven’t already been enough cosmic indicators to slow down and pay attention throughout the past 6 months, it’s as if existence itself is screaming, waving sparklers and jumping up and down to get our attention right now.

“Remember. Remember. Remember. Remember. Remember.”

12:12 12.12.12 Code

Rewinding the Calendar

As I sat to prepare for today’s Divination, I felt myself called by the number 12. Like an echo, the months of the year seemed to reverberate through my mind. A review, of the entire year – yes, indeed – this is the channel:

12:12 12.12.12 Rune and Tarot Divination

I began with the Runes, casting them like rain as I chanted my invocation and intention, letting them fall naturally from my hands as I shook them all together. It wasn’t until I began to examine them afterward that I noticed they had fallen towards each of the Sabbats on my table tapestry, so I straightened them into a grid, mindful of the two extra that placed themselves at the top of the mat near the goddess’ hands and Yule.

I felt guided to read the Runes clockwise, beginning with Imbolc and working around to Yule, as well as that the cast was referencing this past year: 2019. Here are the Rune’s reflections of all the themes we have come through:

Early 2019: Berkana

Representing the beginning of this past year, the Rune Berkana is one of fertility and suitably, new beginnings. Perhaps we were still completely unaware of all the changes and growth to come throughout 2019, perhaps we didn’t yet dare to hope for this year to be one of tremendous change and revelation, but this casting shows that that’s exactly what it was always going to be: we were starting something.

Despite how shaky or unsure we might have felt at the time, we began this year in strength. There were decisions and commitments made that would color and inform the rest of our year. Depending on how ready and willing we were to take the opportunity, make the choice or take the risk, everything was available to us.

Spring 2019: Teiwaz

Our early excitment lead to some victories in Spring of 2019, as indicated here by Teiwaz. We made our choice, put in the work and them got to reap the rewards. All was as it should be, perhaps even seeming too good to be true.

Some of us might have even been asking, is it really this easy? Alas, this Rune is also that of the warrior, and though at first our show of strength was reassuring, it ultimately portends our responsibility as well, and it is this divine birthright that we had only begin to explore.

Late Spring 2019: Inguz

Another positive rune, Inguz is another fertility Rune and quite suited to Beltane, the Sabbat that celebrates just that. It was at this time of year that we started taking ourselves, our gifts, our strengths – everything – more seriously. We started to think about what we wanted to make of our days more and more as they grew ever longer. The doubts we may have had in the beginning of the year started to dissipate and our confidence started growing.

The universe was ripe with blessings and we were hungry with passion. Perhaps this even led to some overeagerness and hypersensitivity, but we were feeling powerful and guided all the same. There was a flow and a grace, even amidst our vulnerable lusts.

Early Summer 2019: Kaunaz

Then there was summer and we were all reminded of humility. Grace took on new meaning as each of us learned to wade through luck of all kinds. We had to relearn blessing and prosperity, many of us finding ourselves counting our fortune in ways we couldn’t have imagined before.

None of us know what we have until it’s gone – or maybe almost gone? Maybe we don’t have to lose it all? Maybe we don’t have to hit rock bottom? Not all luck is treasure, sometimes it’s a narrow miss with horrible detriment or a hard lesson learned, and boy did we get to experience this jolt in perspective as the long days of summer reigned.

Late Summer 2019: Eiwaz

Though our summer started with a bit of an ego check, we were assisted into integration by our faith and guides. This is as soothing as it is startling. In some traditions, Eiwaz is the Rune of death, but it is also the Rune of magick.

We had been foolish enough to think that we were blessed because we are deserving, and we had to be reminded that blessing is always undeserved. It’s not a crisis, but it is still painful. It is learning, it is growing – it is rebirth. Our joy and passion began to take on a more serious note as we started to consider how much of our lives we can be grateful for – and what that truly looks like when it’s being lived instead of just said.

Early Fall 2019: Othila

With rekindled sensitivity and modesty, summer left us primed for fall’s introduction of the real work of 2019: an honest inventory of our inheritance. Not just our family dynamics, but our humanity and even earthly existence came to the forefront. We were invited to witness the trappings of grace and responsibility even further beyond what we had already learned.

We began to make plans, plans to fail, but to fail again and again – to try and fail as many times as necessary to overcome the worst and become the better. We started internalizing and examining, seeking in earnest. Deep desires for legacy, contribution and progress began taking root in our hearts and minds.

Late Fall 2019: Thurisaz

As the Pagan New Year crossed over we felt as though we were entirely different people than in early 2019. As we were prompted to look back and reflect, we began to see how our naivety checkered the year already, and yet also, how very much has been learned. Simultaneously reminded of our need for growth and our remarkable ability to do so.

Suitably, Thurisaz is the Rune of regeneration, landing here on the night of Hallow’s Eve. This year we began to seek more meaning and honor for our ancestors, even those who have wronged us, by learning how to be grateful for the hard, real things. We all felt the veil thinning this year, even if we wanted to deny it, and we are all left to reckon with our own experiences.

Back to Now

Winter 2019 (NOW): Gebo, Nyd and Mannaz (top, left, right)

The Rune Gebo ends our reading quite beautifully, as if to remind us that all of it – the ups, the downs and even the inside-outs – all of 2019 was a gift. We are loved, and through this incredible journey called life, we are all married to the process of existing, growing, learning and ultimately loving as well.

This Rune is symbolic of a gift and is also the Rune of marriage. This is one of few Runes that has no possible reverse meaning and is typically always positive.

To further inform this blessing of Gebo for the end of our year, for right now and for always, we have the two Runes Nyd and Mannaz. Nyd has fallen reversed, the first and only reversal in this Rune cast, and is not a true reversal by its nature. Nyd (need) represents the distance between ourselves and our purpose, the great cavern of experienced to be traversed on the journey from survival to thriving, and there’s really no way around that – or is there?

I believe that the Nyd reversal here echos the themes of this year’s journey; through all of the ebbs and flows, there is grace that persists should we choose to accept it. Should we choose to be grateful, to seek the beauty amidst the travesty, we can indeed be fulfilled regardless of our lack. We have come to understand that having is evidence of wanting, for we cannot acquire without need, we cannot grow without pain and we cannot achieve without overcoming. Perhaps it isn’t these spaces of void that are detrimental, but the potential for despair when we focus only on what isn’t rather on what could be.

Finally, our Winter 2019 Rune cast is sealed with Mannaz, the rune of humanity. Perfect isn’t it? To seal a year of imperfect failing, discovery, re-commitment and revelation with a symbol for all of that very human processing.

So what, we don’t get everything right! So what it’s hard! We know now, difficulties exist to be overcome. We have remembered that within the fabric of our human existence is passion and hunger for progress and we are only just beginning to realize the extent of what that means for us personally.

The Endless Truth

To conclude my divination, I drew four Tarot cards from my Shadowscapes deck to represent 1) what we are leaving behind in 2019, 2) what we are taking with us into 2020, 3) what we’ve learned and 4) what makes this all possible:

From the Shadowscapes Tarot Deck

What we are leaving behind in 2019

XIX – The Sun (reversed)

What a glorious blessing indeed! We are leaving behind those distortions, ideals and conditions that have kept us from experiencing true joy and abundance!

XIX – The Sun is the 20th Major Arcana card (they begin at 0) and represents the best, brightest and most blessed beauties and bounties of life. Showing up here reversed indicates that we have been blocking the fullness of these things in our life, most likely inwardly through mental, emotional and spiritual blocks. Leaving this tendency to rob ourselves behind is surely one of the greatest gifts we could be given, and reflects the messages of the Runes:

“Do not take forward with you those burdens that belong to the person who has not learned the hard lessons of your life. Rejoice that you have survived. Give thanks for your enduring spirit. For life is not truly bountiful without also containing difficulties as well as the confidence and wisdom gained through overcoming them.”

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What we are taking with us into 2020

I – The Magician

Another Major Arcana Card and another blessing, I – The Magician represents the archetype of the alchemist. As we approach 2020 we can do so with pride, not in our abilities to do everything, but in our abilities to learn anything. In this way we are the masters of our destiny and manifesters of our dreams: we can grow, learn change and master ourselves, becoming optimal not in spite of the challenges along the way but because of all the experience they have given us.

This is a powerful message for us and our new year, it’s as if the cosmos is asking us, what will you do with 2020? How will you show up? What difference will you make? Now that we know our birthright is love and its cost is grief, now that we have come to terms with our humanity and the hard won value of our life lived, now that we have seen both the responsibility we have to progress as well as the grace that sustains us beyond our abilities – what won’t we do in 2020?

What we’ve learned

Page of Cups

It’s true, 2019 wasn’t an “easy” year, but arguably that made it better. We learned a lot, about learning. More specifically, we began to learn how to not only hear the subtle messages of our emotions, but also listen to them, honor and appreciate them. We began to conceptualize that the extremes are only ever a part of the story, and that on the other side of grief there is always love.

Regardless of pain or joy, we have come to understand that life’s fullness is all valuable. We have come to appreciate doing the hard things, showing up for others and ourselves when it’s uncomfortable and unpopular. In this way, we have learned to reclaim the depths of ourselves, becoming both our own student as well as our own master.

What makes this all possible

XIII – Death

Ah yes, the Major Arcana card XIII – Death – it’s always getting a bad wrap. That’s because often Western ideology interprets the act of dying as a process of loss, but we must remember that the science and mythos of Tarot predates these modern assumptions and tainting. In Tarot, Death is Rebirth.

You can see that depicted beautifully in the depiction of the Phoenix on this Shadowscapes card. This mythological creature rises from the ashes of its own transformation. Another way of thinking about it is as the process a caterpillar goes through when it becomes a butterfly; all that was is destroyed in order to create the new.

That is what makes all of this possible – all of the grace, progress and learning – we owe it all to transformation. The ability to die to our past and take up our future every day is what keeps the wheel turning. It is never too late, each moment another chance to start over again, and by knowing that we can approach 2020 and every blessed year with excitement for what we want to create!

Blessed be beloveds, may our final weeks of 2019 be filled with gifts and love!