I wish I could check my privilege at the door

It wraps around my neck just like a scarf

It protects me against the cold, frigid truth –

but I really wish I could take it off sometimes

Underneath I feel there is relating, sharing life

Underneath I know there is hope, beyond me –

I can feel the raw fragility of my identity failing

Somehow, down deeper, I am free to truly Be

I am grateful – so many don’t have this cusion

I appreciate and cherish the embellishments

I drink in so fully I become saturated in bliss –

but without shared abundance, joy is limited

Along with the scarf that chokes back tears

I have a heavy coat, it shields me from fear –

emotional baggage, collected from my past

Now, I can boldly face the harshest extremes

Underneath I am weighed down, hot & sticky

Underneath I am exhausted from the wearing

I can feel the child in me wailing, so very tired –

somehow, without baggage, I can be truly free

Still grateful – many don’t know these lessons

I appreciate & cherish the things I’ve learned

I accept, not broken but forged by the sorrows

With vulnerable openness, my hope is assured

If I peel off the layers I’ve so carefully acquired

what will my naked heart be forced to see?

If I give up the burdens I so faithfully labor for

what will my exposed soul let others see?

What’s real is that I am blessed beyond my own knowing, not having to fight the battles so many others do –

What’s real is that I am jaded beyond other’s understanding, they never had to survive the things that I’ve been through –

Still somehow, despite all separations and limitations, the boundary lines blur and blend

Yet someway, despite the indoctrination and hesitation, we all find ways to heal and mend

For these reasons, in spite of my own blind selfishness and ignorance, I am thankful –

For these reasons, in spite of my own healing woundedness and shame, I am grateful –

Reality isn’t about perfection, but acceptance

So I’ll keep trying. I’ll continue to look for ways to untie, unbutton and remove my subjectivity

to share in other’s pain & let them share mine 

I will stand up against suffocating promises, + tortuous memories that try to steal my hopes

I will fight against the choking restrictions of my indifference, all without sacrificing bliss

So what if I am not who I wish to be – who am I to be anything anyway?

It is better to be grateful than to be sure; gratitude will always bless me, even when

I am wrong –

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