Tag: balance

Filling in the Blanks

Ah, life…

I wanted to start this post with another “it’s been a crazy week,” or “sorry I haven’t had time to write something current lately,” but then I realized – I don’t feel that way. So I’m not going to say it.

The weekend was great. I’m sick and have largely been scraping by the last 3 days, barely cognizant sometimes, but I also still managed to spend mother’s day with my momma bear and that is so special to me.

I’m laying here, with beads of sweat on my forehead, feeling gross and icky, but I’m also feeling proud of the fact that I still woke up at 6am today to workout with my friend before I did my Sadhana (it wasn’t much of a workout but the commitment is what’s been making the real difference anyway). I’m feeling blessed, accomplished and grateful. I’m also wondering when this stupid head cold will finally pass…

And that’s just it…

That’s life. THIS is life! It’s never all good or all bad, there are always ups and downs, things don’t ever remain nice and categorical and reality’s “peaks” and “valleys” often coincide. There’s no destination that escapes the densly diverse experiences of existence.

That’s why perspective, intention and focus matter so much. We all make our own meaning.

I could focus on how “crazy” things feel when I am not accomplishing everything I want to accomplish, but then I’m probably only going to foster more manic energy for myself. I can fixate on all the ways I’ve not been “keeping up” with the make believe standards I’ve set in place for myself, but then I’m really only harvesting dissapointment and discontent.

The truth is, I get to choose

No one’s life is perfect, but I can certainly enjoy mine should I decide to. Sure, being sick isn’t easy to enjoy necessarily, but I can still be grateful that I’m alive and take the extra pause to appreciate my blessings. Instead of worrying about all the things I haven’t gotten to yet, I can be thankful I have so many opportunities, trust and responsibility.

So, this is me basking… I’m drinking it all in and savoring every drop. I love you life! I’m so blessed by the good, the bad and everything in between…

Image: Internet

Trying to Walk the Midline

Coming back in
just to back out
You can’t have me
but can’t move on
·
Frustrated so –
ask me to go
Changing mind

reel me in again

·

Can’t you see you’ve been hurting me?
If you care so much, why can’t you try?
I see now, it was always about you –
You never wanted but your dream of me

not my reality, not my hard-sought truth

·

Accusing, you point
only to then recoil
I’m fucking with you

just not how you like

·

Sure “I don’t get you”
I must be “confused”
If I really understood

I’d think just like you – right?!

·

Can’t you see you’re clipping my wings?
If you love me why won’t you let me fly?
I know now how I must threaten you –
I never wanted to cause any kind of grief

but I know there can be no peace in lies

·

Don’t change for me
don’t you even try!
I don’t want anything

but your authenticity

·

It’s okay if we don’t fit
We don’t have to cut
or mame ourselves –

I’ll love you from afar

·

You don’t want me, so please let me go –
it doesn’t make you wrong or me right
We can be different and still appreciate

We don’t have to be together to love –

·

I’m not rejecting you, or your dreams –
but they are yours to have, not mine
I’ll always want your spirit to thrive

but it’s my responsibility to keep mine alive

·

Can’t you see, the limits your creating?
If you want freedom why draw lines?
I’m learning now, what love is for you –
All or nothing means choosing extremes

but I’ll keep on trying to walk the midline