My left thigh is tingling and warm

from soft kitten purrs, as loud as they are gentle

He refused to “say cheese” though

The room is cold, here in the basement

as well as quiet, dark and spacious

I can remember when this entire space

was filled floor to ceiling with miscellaneous

I feel connected to it in remarkable ways

And that’s just the basement –

My current home is remarkable

Home

I feel home

Everything feels like home right now

What a difference a few years makes…

I used to be in a bad marriage

I used to be a chronic enabler

I used to recklessly abhor myself

Just years ago…

Don’t get me wrong, and if you read my blog you know

Things aren’t perfect…

They truly are better than perfect

This is why

My unalome/wanderlust mashup tattoo

That is to say, what it represents

They joy of the journey

Remembering to appreciate, even the bad

Even when life is chaos and you can’t breathe

If anything, that got me here

At least from that self-deprecating behavior of my past

But it does go deeper

To a time before I new how to be happy

And only grace got me through that

Om, beloved Divine, quest of my heart

Thank you, thank you, thank you my sweet, sweet loves – my beloveds – my sweet love, my beloved, my endlessly cherished One

In all the ways my devotion has blossomed

I have been endlessly blessed

And if I had not strayed into the depths of hopelessness

Would I have ever known the true heights of bliss

rushing in and out the door

you try and stop me every time

still when I pet you you turn away

acting coy like it was my idea to play

my darling kitteh you’ve got me hooked

wrapped like a string around your little paw

there isn’t anything that halts me like your mew

yes it’s the truth, I couldn’t even be mad if I tried

you’re so freaking cute I’ve cried about it before

always leaving me wanting more of your purrr

my darling kitteh you sure are something

turn me down but I keep on coming

’cause you’re an expert at charming

It’s twelve to 10pm and the house is quiet. The light rustling of grandma and her two little dogs settling for the night upstairs has stopped and other than the faint hum of electronics, only my cat’s gentle purrs can be heard.

My cold has made it hard to sleep the past several nights and I’ve been groggy all day, though admittantly, I’m not sure if the medicine I’m taking is playing a role in making me feel so weird too…

My friend and I are upping our workouts from 3 times a week to 5, so I need to be up before 6am again tomorrow… I want to wind down with some more of my audio book, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to track the information effectively. I tried the other night and caught myself drifting to sleep instead of paying attention.

Perhaps I should just go to bed – but I’m still on the couch, writing this so I can get something posted…

I’m wondering what to take a picture of for this post…

I’m wondering how long this cold will last…

I’m wondering why my grandma’s old poodle has decided to suddenly start barking incessantly…

I’m wondering how my life will change once again in 2 weeks at the Apotheosis 4.0 retreat…

I’m wondering…

I went to see a close friend of mine this evening and we talked a lot. We’ve been missing one another for the past few weeks, evwn though she’s just down the street from me….

She’s a momma of two young children and rightfully busy, but we share a sacred and special bond that despite all our many differences keeps us closer than close on the soul level… I’m so grateful for her. We can talk about anything, and we talk about everything.

I’m so grateful….

I am so, so damn grateful.

My life isn’t perfect and I’ve got a lot of work to do, but wow – WAHE GURU!

I am blessed.

a view from my couch…

I’m thankful for this house, for my grandma and her dogs. I’m thankful for my cats and my bed. I’m thankful for my friends, the wide variety they come in and all the different ways they inspire me…

I’m grateful that sickness is something I experience rarely, and for my strong, healthy body and all the ways it fights for and supports me…

I’m grateful for my curious mind, my compassionate heart and my adventurous spirit…

I’m am grateful for now. Just, now… In all its brilliant, imperfect life-ness…

I’m thankful to be me. Bless my dear soul! Yes, blessed be… Blessed be –