Tag: money

not feeling it – so…

a knot in my chest keeps

tying a panicked rhythm

down – as beats scream –

·

echos rattling fragile bones

tightness spreading into

the emptiness expanding

·

gripping at rib prison bars

my sanity is pacing empty

while imagining being full

·

breath still holds me open

as my fringe curls toward

collapse – letting all go, go

·

mind’s eye on an unknown

finish line just out of bounds

the squeaky wheel’s turning

·

poor cosmic rodent sucking

down liquid dillusion spiked

novocaine and white sugar

·

·

·

hungry for something hated

innocence only to be jaded

do not want to feel like this

·

·

do not want to feel like this

sick, confused, can’t deal

like this, I’m not feeling it

·

not feeling it, what of it is

·

hungry, damn famished

no longer just an innocent

·

truth persists noxiously

I’m gagging on my tongue

trying to spit chunks out

·

·

not playing games so I am

forfeiting every competition

it’s not losing unwanted wins

·

·

·

can’t make me want for any

·

I’ll manifest my own choice

·

cornering me blossoms wings

·

not feathers, bright gleeming

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dynamically refreacting scales

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thorns and poison tipped claws

rejects

.
I heard that Money has been estranged
that the realms of Beyond rejected it
that it is an outcast of heaven and hell
that it roams our world lonely, unwell
.
I read: no matter what, it cannot go back
it will never regain the faith of Existence
it is fated to withstand our use and abuse
it will never be rescued from humanity
·
So what? It’s not a person with feelings
At least, how could I sympathize with “it?”
Yet, my heart sank deep into my guts
filing me with knowing, the pain of loss –
·
And so, with a humble hope of healing
with a simple offer of kind awareness
I extended my ignorant compassion
I opened my arms to comfort the rejected
.
So what? I’m just a person with feelings
At least, my sympathy is fleeting at best
It could only be a matter of time and then,
surely I would abuse and use it like the rest
.
Of course, how could I expect its trust
having been tricked and manipulated
having been condemned by its kin
having been objectified to all ends
.
Still I remained, patient but cautious
watching it pace and circle and stalk
Feeling it’s awareness returned to me
weary it might ultimately consume me
.
I feel its gaze, though not from eyes
I hear questions, not from lips but mind
I see it move in the shadows and light
Like me, it’s unsure but still curious –
·
And so, in silence and contemplation
I attempt to remove my stagnation
Sitting, no more than to be in my isness –
opening myself up as a new kingdom
·
Imperfect indeed, but repentantly
we seem to be blending the lines
I hold space for our wholeness
as vulnerabilities bleed into One
.
If it must, I tell it, collapse completely
let go of fated fears of insignificance
return to the simplicity of just being
relax, releasing itself of every desire –
.

It’s afraid, so am I, yet we’re courageous
remaining in our peace despite reason
taking the leap into the abyss together
redefining our own sense of belonging
.