nature, pagan, Poetry, spiritual

bit by bit

I pulled the card

not knowing

just desperate

seeking the answers to unasked questions

Lotus guru

Blooming

like dance

Smiling as she colorfully unfurls

I didn’t feel it then

the weight

of petals

pulling themselves delicately apart

It’s hard work

being gentle

letting go

unraveling to reveal hidden glories

Happening silently

frustratingly

bit by bit

until nothing is left but undoing

Thrusting vulnerability

exposing

inviting

giving all to possibilities

Spreading wide open

expanding

exploding

willing to fall completely apart

And watching myself fall

bit by bit

beautiful peices

collapsing back into myself

An act of violence

this blooming

this undoing

itself cannot be undone

Yet these dead petals

decaying

become more

feeding the blooms of tomorrows

Poetry

things have changed

I remember moments of heart ache

so deep

so splintered

Feelings of disparity

Woeful living

Waiting to die

The pains I have now

so different

so sweet

Feelings of gratitude

Fully living

Unafraid to die

My laughter weighed with tragedy

I do not simply do anything

Saturated in my truth

it bleeds

at every

edge

Hate me for my playful smile

but it is hung on trappings of loss

Not to cover but to soften

to lessen the gaping of my love’s cost

Ridicule the songs I peacefully hum

not knowing they were battle cries

That they are the echos

of my tattered heart, still haunted

And as I learn to love, imperfectly

reminding myself to be kind

Nurturing compassion for the forsaken

my name starts the line

I don’t need to have it all

or even to only have the pleasant

Letting go of wanting more

to revel in the beauty of sparseness

Holding my pain like treasure

honoring the lessons within

Accepting the divine wonderments

Untaming the monsters

Rewilding the earth

Reenchanting the cosmos

Dancing amidst death’s endless rebirth

Accepting the here beyond space

Falling through reality, passed time