For those of you that didn’t know, I was married once. He was someone I tried to save from himself, and I lost myself in the process. Still, it’s all been for the best, making me the woman I am.

So, here’s an old poem – from a past I barely recognize:

I fell in love with a con man

He was lying the very day we met


Told me twists and turns of detailed stories, only partial truths or complete bullshit


He’d learned the hard way, of that much there was proof, and so I went along hoping every last word was truth


From behind big blue eyes, he swept me away – what can I say, that con man’s words made me want to play his game


The way he loved me was incredible, made me feel like when he held me he was coming home –


Ecstasy soon turning into a bad trip, a deadly rollar coaster, but I still rode with him –


I fell in love with a criminal, a man who’d done what he thought he had to do, and he’d done it far too many times to realize he could choose –

The lies started to bleed and I began to feed on delirium, insecurity overcoming me making me come unhinged


Something about the way he laughed when he was truly happy, the way his eyes devoured my body and the touch of his hands!


I fell in love with a blue eyed devil, a class act playgirl fantasy

I let him lead me astray, keeping his secrets to this very day, despite his most brazen offenses against me –


I fell in love with a con man, how could I have expected any different?


I couldn’t blame him for his sorted past

Or the hurt little boy who was always staring back


I felt his pain, or at least the parts he wanted me to

I fell in love with a con man, and I always knew –


Yea, somehow I always knew, and I still laid myself bare, daring him to make his move and finally prove that the love he said he for me was as true…


Still, I knew… Still it burned, as his fiery heart consumed – all I had…

Ooh, I was conned by the man I loved – I listened and then got learned…

I thought I knew, thought if I could be bad too he couldn’t hurt me the way that he did…


I gave my innocence to a grand larcenist, ooh I watched as he drank me in and what came back out was stronger, but more putrid too…


Ooh that criminal, I’m that Casanova’s fool –


I learned to love from a con man – he taught me to trust and then how to break it bad…


Don’t you dare

Don’t you entertain –


‘Cause even though I may seem sweet and lovely – I can guarantee that you don’t want to play this game –

I’ve been tainted and mamed 


Ooh oh oh oh – run away

it’s interesting for me
to see
just how removed
I am
thinking back on time
excuses
I inhale greedily
impatiently
oh the difference
a year
or two…
who knows how many years it’s really been. I’ve never been one for dates. I was 20 and it was still spring – dabbled I had, in the sense that I understood about as much as I could from an arm’s length away. things were still dangerous then – and like fire – I couldn’t wait to burn, I just didn’t know it yet.
burn and burn and burn…
oh but we see how fires grow bigger, uncontainable, especially those with no intent but to burn –
it’s okay as long as no body knows
but no one tells you just how bad

you want them to know

it’s interesting for me
to see
just how removed
I am
thinking back on time
excuses
I inhale greedily
impatiently
oh the difference
a year
or two…
who knows how many years it’s really been. I’ve never been one for dates. I was 20 and it was still spring – dabbled I had, in the sense that I understood about as much as I could hope to from an arm’s length away. things were still dangerous then – and like fire – I couldn’t wait to burn, I just didn’t know it yet.
burn and burn and burn…
oh but we see how fires grow bigger, uncontainable, especially those with no intent but to burn –
it’s okay as long as no body knows
but no one tells you just how bad
you want them to know