Here’s an old song, written by another mayryanna who was married to a man she thought she might die for… Fortunately she was saved and has become a new person entirely, but the past still remains, and thus these words and refrains live on

More than I could ever Promise

Remembering those crazy things we’ve said and done

Back in the day, screaming face, a loaded gun

We gave it our all, the blood, sweat, and tears, dripping with passion and unspoken fears – but oh it was real, it was real, it was real

And oh we were crazy in love, and we were so angry in love – 

We were madly, madly, madly – we were so mad to be in love

And we were insanely in love, no we just couldn’t get enough

Even if we didn’t know it then…

The stitches came out and the bruises healed, it was time for fun

Popping and smoking, couldn’t stop driving toward th’ sun

We just had to try, the pills, drinks, and lies, ignoring all reason and cautionary cries – 

But oh it was real, it was real, it was real

And oh we were daring in love, and we were so nasty in love – 

We were badly, badly, badly – yea we were bad to be in love

And we were so tragically in love, we just couldn’t get enough

Even if we should’ve known it then…

Waiting at home, the call didn’t come ’til 5am

Thrashing and screaming, the pain more real than it had ever been

I’d promised you then, as I’ve promised you now, never to leave, I’m holding it down –

And oh it is real, it is real, it is real

And oh I am patient in love, and I am faithful  in love – 

Even when sadly, sadly, sadly – it is so sad to be in love

And I am unwavering in love, I could never get enough

And baby don’t we know it now

And maybe at one time, they were only words, but I know now beyond all doubt that it’s true – and when you ask me if I love you, you know exactly what I’ll say

More baby, more baby, more than I could ever promise baby 

‘Cause this is real, this is real, it’s so real

And oh we are so happy in love, and we are enjoying our love – 

We are gladly, gladly, gladly – yea we are glad to be in love

And we are completely in love, we will never get enough

No, no, no, I just can’t get enough-

I’ll never, never, never have enough-

Of you…

The tattoo on my right hip, in Italian, translated: “… more than I can infinitely promise”

I heard a song
Deep in the forest

Like soft whispers
Not all can hear it

Notes held out long
Harmonies chilling

Melody winding
Wrapped all up in it

Trees and flowers
Leaves and the faeries

Bird’s tune, wind’s blow
All joining in it

I danced along
Complete surrender

Bliss filled my heart
Felt myself floating

Gave my control
Let go of knowing

This is true love
Dirty life growing

Far-deep within
Beyond all my sense

I found magick
Remembered power

Gained truth and peace
In these still moments

Sing them again
Forest lullabies

Always the same
Forever different

Sing them again
Forest lullabies

Always the same
Forever different

Brothers and sisters
Mothers and fathers
Daughters and sons
All together as One
You dissolve into me
I hold your spirit free
I fall heart first into you
as you cradle my truth
Thank you my sweet
sweet loves – thank you
my dearest beloveds
Together we face fears
and demons, kissing away
their misunderstoodness
Thank you my sweet
sweet loves – thank you
my dearest beloveds
Let me be your strength
We’ll walk through together
And when in turn I need
By my side you’ll already be
Dancing in freedom’s delight
safely supported by life
You set my soul ablazing
Igniting this glory creating
Thank you my sweet
sweet loves – thank you
my dearest beloveds
Together we create futures
more beautiful than ever
Joining our spirits as One
Thank you my sweet
sweet loves – thank you
my dearest beloveds
An eternity, never enough
to express my undying want
for all of your majestic
Thank you my sweet
sweet loves – thank you
my dearest beloveds
Thank you, thank you
my dearest, sweetest
purely beloved ones

My heart is so full
with love that is pure
with a joy that knows no limit
with a peace the dissolves all fear
My smile is so big
my face tingles within
a bliss pouring from my soul
magick of accepting where I’ve been
I’ve had to be lost
to find myself here
and for all those twists
I am more than grateful
I’ve had to be hurt
to learn how to heal
and for all of those scars
I’m more than thankful
My future is bright
filled with clear intention
though it’s not for hope
but hopelessness’ indiscretion
I do not wish for better
but to be more of myself
to strip away all that isn’t mine
giving my truth a chance at health
I’ve had to be lost
to find myself here
and for all those twists
I am more than grateful
I’ve had to be hurt
to learn how to heal
and for all of those scars
I’m more than thankful
I will dance and I’ll sing
abandon overtaking me
allowing all my existence
embracing what it is to be
More than grateful
More than thankful
Full of heart and ever
heartfull