Walking an unpopular path
People will tell you you’re lost
They caution you against their fears
They tell you what cannot be done

Walking the path of your soul
Deep into dark corners and cold
Sometimes the way feels awful lonely
Othertimes the shadows prove friendly

Walking one step before next
Taking your precious time back
Facing the monsters that live in inside
Embracing all your brokenheartedness

Walking on, you don’t turn away
Except to laugh into the twirling abyss
Surprises lay ahead, blessings to be had
Gifts sprinkled throughout for your bliss

Walking an unpopular path
Walking the path of your soul
It my not be crowded and it may not be lit –
but walk on Truth warriors of ancient and old

Little cottage at the fork (Bristol, UK, October 2018)

Written one year ago after visiting the Blarney Castle in Ireland on an absolutely enchanted and “impossible” European trip

It seems as though more time has passed, and yet – like it was only yesterday. I had never been to Europe before and everything about it delighted my heart.

My day started with me winding through the back alleys of Dublin,

It was a miracle that I got to go, and even more suprising that I got to stay. In just shy of 40 days, Britain, Ireland, France, Greece, the Netherlands and Macedonia were all experienced as fully as I could manage.

The River Liffey as the sun rose over Dublin, Oct. 7th 2018

I filled my free days with tours of ancient holy sites, as well as local food and culture tours, hungry for tastes and history alike.

Views from The Hill of Tara
Modern reconstruction of the ancient stone pillar at the top of The Hill of Tara
Stones placed by ancient Pagans on The Hill of Tara
Ancient Tumulus on The Hill of Tara
Selfie at the runes of an old monastery in Ireland
Monastery runes in Eastern Ireland
Detailed monastic stonework
My red boots on top of monastic stones
New-old framed by old-old
The lush Irish countryside
Runes of an old sheep herder’s gate
Old stone bridge in Eastern Ireland

On this particular day, I was in Ireland visiting the Uisneach and other Pagan sites on a tour of “Ireland’s Ancient East.”

Stairs to the trail (gate at the bottom is to keep sheep in/out)
360 degree views of Ireland at the top of Uisneach

This holy site is at the center-most part of the Island and on the Pagan holiday of Beltane in May, they light a huge bonfire at the center of the hill – which, weather permitting, can then be seen from the entire Emerald Isle.

More views from “the heart of the Emerald Isle”
Bundled up beneath a fairy tree
Seated on the fabled “Witch’s seat”

And all that (and so much more) was just in one day in Ireland. The rest of the trip was no less full of magick either!

Don’t worry, I won’t leave you hanging! Though I can’t ever truly share my amazing European vacation with you all, soon I’ll be writing up my “Top Ten Tips for a Magickal European Holiday” as a blog post so that you can start planning your own incredible journey too!

she starts with

Openness

a gentle gaping

enough to let spirit in

all darkness to

Begin

until exploding

bewildered magnificence

Not a plan, but

Knowings

her path ordered

by Divine Mystery’s intentions

first she must

Purge

clearing out space

creating the cosmic vacuum

then she layers

Enchantment

weaving intricate meaning

through the densities of pain

gentle-soft touches

Massaging

releasing and unwinding

purpose from its enslavements

her gravity growing

Magnetic

she’s pulling grace in

manifesting Karmic reclamation

filling beyond brim

Overflowing

fulfilling Divine plan

to Love, Love and be Love again –

I have not been utilizing spoken language to communicate for 10 days now and I’m officially a third of the way through my vow. I have been learning a lot and figured this was as good a time as any to post a bit of an update.

In reality, communication runs much deeper than human language

Interestingly, my abilities to continue making noises and write to communicate have made my vow more difficult rather than less. I have found myself struggling to “grunt just right” or write something as quickly or “efficiently” as possible again and again. The trouble always arises because this vow doesn’t only affect me, and I still have habits of adjusting myself for others.

I am not at an ashram, I’m still finding ways to do my work and have my relationships, yet I feel profoundly limited in my ability to give people what they want. In this way, I am being tested, but so is everyone else in my life. I am being confronted by my desire to make things easier for everyone, literally ALL THE TIME. In turn, they are also being invited to explore their expectations of me, and it’s not always comfortable or even understandable.

Human language has never been static (image: internet)

I have thoroughly succeeded in rocking the boat lately. I have been tempted to just call this “rewilding my voice” intention off on more than one occasion, but all this resistance can only mean it’s worth the effort – so I’m pushing through, and taking everyone on a growth adventure with me!

I am however, hereby changing my “I can makeep noises” rule slightly, to exclude word-like sounds. Only official grunts, growls and purrs from now on. Okay, and maybe some monkey chatter and bird whistles – but no more human-esk attempts a communication. Though who is to say where the line is unless I explore it??

Alas, I am again committed to the original commitment… But you see my difficulty?

Even if that means sticking with a difficult commitment (image: internet)

Desires float like snow
dancing as they fall
collecting all around
melding together as
they take over: covering all
Each one intricate
each one different
all still melting down
all becoming water
united in destruction of identity
Fate the inevitable undoing
Destiny what’s undone
Promises must break
against, into, because:
they’re fragile in the making
We humans are fragile creatures
we can’t help but break down
we are built for evolution
Optimization requires updates
each version uniquely fallible
“I” Feel beautiful –
“I” See loving –
“I” Hear joy –
“I” Taste luxury –
“I” Smell identity –
So then, once “I” let go
when “I” dissolve the lines
when “my” edges soften
as “I’m” melting “my” Self
“my” ego fades: decaying ideals
What of the between?
What about the story
“I” keep telling anyone
who will listen, especially
“myself” – again and over, desperate?
What are the purposes
of these intricate lines?
Why be different if we are all
going to meld together again?
Why do I feel important?
I don’t want to be important
but really, when that melts
down: I don’t want to dis-
appoint or ruin Everything
I just want to blend nicely
I’m letting my edges melt
even before I hit the ground
I’m so ready to flow deeper
into the dark warm embrace –
Gravity pulling me to the core
We are suspended on cold air
We are sucked in by warm earth
We are recycled in the heat of fire
To be carried again and once more
up to expand, down to collapse in
What of desires and snowflakes?
What of gravity and water?
What of dissonance and cognition?
What of I and the Other?
Why do questions all have the same answers?
Perhaps, Deepest Darkest
you are not gluttonous or evil
you are not damnable
you are not what you fear
You Are: simply: remembering –
all I want: what I have
To Be – fully and freely: floating
falling, flowing – caring less about
edges and cyclical pressure
Finding peace in loving the journey
Feeling the intoxicating beauty
Seeing the loving bliss
Hearing the grateful laughter
Tasting the luxurious delights
Smelling the layers of identity
Every chance I have, I’ll take it
Every change there is, I’ll make it
Now and always, forever, on repeat
I’m cycling, learning to appreciate
better and better and better
Yes, Deepest Darkest
you are beautiful and good
you are redeemable
you are greater than your fears
You Are: simply: remembered –