my heart is a garden

bursting with blooms

shining emerald brilliance


buds, petals and blossoms 

rejoicing in their cool

milky-pink rose quartz glow


fairies and fae folk 

dancing and singing

round an endless fountain 


love abundant, pouring

from the endless depths 

of my eternal soul

I pulled the card

not knowing

just desperate

seeking the answers to unasked questions

Lotus guru

Blooming

like dance

Smiling as she colorfully unfurls

I didn’t feel it then

the weight

of petals

pulling themselves delicately apart

It’s hard work

being gentle

letting go

unraveling to reveal hidden glories

Happening silently

frustratingly

bit by bit

until nothing is left but undoing

Thrusting vulnerability

exposing

inviting

giving all to possibilities

Spreading wide open

expanding

exploding

willing to fall completely apart

And watching myself fall

bit by bit

beautiful peices

collapsing back into myself

An act of violence

this blooming

this undoing

itself cannot be undone

Yet these dead petals

decaying

become more

feeding the blooms of tomorrows

*One of those meditative visions while in the jungle (in 2018, not this past visit) learning how to remember Mayryanna*

Beneath the ocean, surrounded by endless blue
I met a humpback who taught me to dance true
and we both sang aloud under water together
twirling hand in fin; swell bubbles and glimmer

Then, a Whale Shark who showed me gliding
like liquid through currents, just under surface
Our movement magickal, no effort or trying
We traversed all distance but forgot all time

Finally, I faced a Great White, both motionless
calmly, he stared me down; intently, I stared too
both finally bending, only to rest our foreheads
peacefully placing our third eyes together

When I came back to dry land
I wasn’t sure where I had been,
what had I been given and how?
Still seated on the Shaman’s floor

I thanked the guides heartily
with prayers and meditation
and saved my wild curiosity
with no fear of my hesitation

Upon my healing, Shaman blew
Conch bellowing all around me
The ocean waves rhythm too –
salt and water blood echoing

“You carry the song of the ocean
Waves still dance in your heart
Adventures are your Homeland
Make peace with your power”