It’s been a strange week, with lots of mental/emotional brooding, but I have had great readings! Even if it’s taken a while to get to posting them…

I’ve had the 2020 monthly cards drawn for almost a week now – but, it hasn’t felt like the time to share them quite yet. I’ve had this weekly spread done for a couple days now too… and I know it’s time for that, so here it goes:

Divine Reenchantment

Three of Pentacles | Shadowscapes Tarot

We begin our reading with the Three of Pentacles, which is also illustrative of this week’s overall energy/theme: “success is guaranteed.” Typically a great card for a career reading, this card represents the inevitable results of having a great work ethic. In this deck and for this reading though, it is speaking specifically to the Divine’s ineffable work ethic and how it is within acknowledgement of that Truth that we find our eternal assurances.

In the artwork we can see stars and a moon, all encircled and traced by the “dreamer,” who is also being lifted up by a supporting figure in order to create her art. “This, THIS is the relationship I want with you -” I hear the Divine coo from my center, “trust in my support and you shall be exulted to the place in which you can manifest your unique glory and purpose.”

The little chameleon perched on the shoulder of the supportive figure echoes the adaptability and omnipotence of the Divine’s ability to be “all that we need in order to thrive.” Should the artist insist that she must make the climb, support herself, balance her tools all on her own and only then be able to start her work – she may never make it. Our True destiny and Divine purpose will always require our dependency on the Divine, for the beauty we can create within the blessings of Divinity cannot help but eternally overshadow what we are able to do independently of that support and help.

We are being invited back into Divine communion, a place in which possibilities and purpose are endless – but it takes faith and trust to enter into this fellowship. In order to experience Divine reenchantment, we must first create and hold the space for the miracles and blessings this relationship will most certainly create in our life. If we are unwilling to see a way beyond that of our own brute force and skill, we are “forcefully” subjecting ourselves to the limitations of our own conditions.

Reunification and Saturation of the Divine Feminine

III – The Empress (reversed) | Shadowscapes Tarot

I have seen this card already, when pulling all the monthly cards for 2020 on the 1st – and she comes in good company (more on that later). There will be a theme this year of internalizing the Divine Feminine, and it is starting NOW.

We are all being asked to reimagine everything we think we know about femininity, but rather than using the internet, opinions and other knowledge external to us this reclamation will happen from the inside out. What we’ve been told, no matter how convincing, will never be the whole story – we have to tune in.

We must listen for the reverberating truth of Earth’s crystalline core as it vibrates through our own bones. We must wash ourselves pure in the ocean tides as they pull at the rivers of flowing blood within our bodies. We must nurture, tend and care for the communities of cells and bacteria that make up our physical being – with the same abundance and detail that our hospitable planetary home provides to us.

If we can sink into our beingness in these ways, we can truly reunite with our Divine feminine power. It isn’t about being subjected, dominated or used but rather, in discovering our own endlessness we recover the aspects of feminine power that contain our abilities to heal, nourish and support life.

An Ecliptic Call to Power

Nine of Wands | Shadowscapes Tarot

We have an Annular Lunar Eclipse and Full Moon this Friday, January 10th, which is conjoined by a Pluto and Saturn conjunction (the Sun and these two planets are all within 3 degrees of each other in the sign of Capricorn). This eclipse will highlight themes of both individual progress as well as familial and communal cooperation.

We are beginning to take note of the global interconnectedness of our lives. As the president of the United States seems to be posturing himself for WWIII and over a billion animals have perished in the devastating Australian Bush fires, no one remains unaffected. We are all afraid of nuclear fall out, we are all grieving for creatures that aren’t “our own,” and we are all realizing that there are no true islands of humanity – what we do as individuals will always affect the whole.

This card, with it’s own ecliptic imagery, resonates with the power of the people. Here we see an army of centuries, but they are reclining as watchmen rather than rushing into battle. It would seem that the warrior in the foreground might be the leader, as he is illuminated and yet, we can notice that those in the background are seated upon their beasts of battle in the same way – this is an army of equality, lead only by Truth.

Nine is a number representing completeness or resolution and Wands is the suit of passion, creativity and fire. As a totem for the energy of the coming eclipse, I am anticipating a movement of social unity and a reclamation of power being ignited. We have ALL had enough and we are ALL going to take a stand, together.

Accepting Our Divine Birthright

Black Dragon from Saturn | Dragon Oracle Deck

Now, just because we are accepting Divine support, reintegrating the Divine feminine and taking a stand to defend all of humanity from the ego of the few doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy from here on out. To the contrary, we are being told to get serious about our discipline.

If we are to bring about a new era of peace it is going to require that we also bring about an era of self-governance – and that has to start within each of us, individually. I cannot do the work for you, you cannot do the work for me – we all have to do the work for ourselves, with the understanding that this very personal work is what will make the biggest difference for others.

True freedom is only available through actualizing diversity. By you taking on your own Divine purpose and working faithfully on your own self-mastery, I am free to focus on my own Divine purpose and self-mastery. No one of us can fulfill all purposes, nor were we ever intended to “be/do everything,” and that’s what makes being a part of humanity so great, there’s enough of us to meet all of our dynamic needs.

This card is also one of congratulations, as these dragons do not come to assist us with our mastery unless we are already applying ourselves. So take joy in this recognition that you have been working hard to clear the false beliefs and densities that have kept you from personal mastery before, and be encouraged, because even though the work isn’t done yet we are now recieving significant cosmic help!

All for the Exultation of LOVE

Dusty Pink Dragon from Andromeda | Dragon Oracle Deck

This final card for our weekly reading seals up all of these messages with Divine Love. No matter what, it is this purest energy that will sustain and provide for us. All else must and will fall away.

As we undergo these great changes and transformations this week (and year,) learning to master ourselves and serve our world, feel yourself being bathed in love and release everything else to be transmuted by this most holy of vibrations. You are love. I am love. We are love.

We are not alone in our desire to save this planet from our excessive consumption, and we are being supported to rise above these conditions of lack and fear. If there should be moments of overwhelm and defeat, tune in again to love and remember the true infinity of possibilities.

If you are tired, rest. If you are stressed, relax. If you are sick or wounded, heal. If you are trying to rationalize the irrationality of our world, meditate instead. It isn’t all up to you to fix things, but it can only be you who does these loving things for yourself. We can’t give anything to the world that we ourselves don’t have, so start with loving you and watch this Divine contagion spread.

Blessed be my beloveds, may you all find yourself enraptured by the Divine this week and become fully impassioned by Love!

Tarot and Oracle Card Spread for the week of January 6th – 12th 2019

Welcome to the next decade beloveds! I hope this beginning finds you well.

I’m well, but also looking forward to becoming even better! With all the transformation forecasted for this week, January is already shaping up to be quite the metaphysical ride. Now, as we approach a Full Moon/Annular Lunar Eclipse on January 10th and an even more exciting comic dance throughout 2020, we are being instructed further about our role in these paradigm-shifting changes.

Casting Ourselves at the Mercy of the Divine

January 2020 Spread – Shadowscapes Tarot Deck

I had an interesting experience when drawing for this month’s reading: I couldn’t feel what spread to use, or more accurately, no known spread felt attuned to the reading. When I discovered and accepted this truth amidst my trying, I relaxed into the channel and was told to cast my crystals.

As soon as the crystals fell, meaning and placement was illuminated. The spread would start at the base, winding up in a zigzag pattern to the top, from right to left – creating a counterclockwise spiral upwards that appeared as golden energy in my mind’s eye.

There is significance to the direction of the spiral, as counterclockwise indicates an undoing or regression but upwards also portends elevation and assent. I believe this is representative of the overall themes for the reading which include: inspired/”forced” change or disruption leading to personal metamorphosis, realignment with Divine grace, wisdom and balance for the purpose of Self mastery and manifestation of our highest calling/service.

Another Illustration of True Metamorphosis

Amethyst and Four of Wands (reversed)

At the base of the spread, the amethyst crystal starts our reading with a message about the intuitive insights available to us this month. Our reading also starts with the only card pulled reversed for the entire spread.

Four of Wands has a foundational, supportive, focused and purposeful energy that arises from the solidarity and balance the number 4 infuses, as well as the passion and creativity of the Fire element, represented by the suit of Wands. Showing up here reversed echoes that melting/dissolving/decay energy necessary for the True Metamorphosis we are already undergoing.

This is challenging, and not in a nice way. It’s earth-shattering, plateau eliminating and to say the least, uncomfortable work.

This energy is akin to going through all the fears, biases, justifications and excuses of our entire lives in order to discover the codependent, toxic patterns and conditioning that must be rooted out to avoid unnecessary karma. Our destiny’s will be fulfilled, but we have to do the work. Avoiding the work will only prolong the work and make more work for us and others.

Do the work. May we all rise up and do the hardest, scariest most earth shattering and paradigm shifting work we possibly can right now – not because it’s fun, easy or enjoyable, but because it’s our work to do and handing off our responsibilities to the next generation is one of those patterns we all have the opportunity to break this month.

An Invitation to Expand Beyond All Previously Imaginable Possibilities

Goddess of the Void talisman (reversed) and X – The Wheel of Fortune

Continuing up through the spiral, we find a position marker reversed. The Goddess of the Void talisman representing “that which contains nothing but every possibility” being flipped on its head as if to ask, “do you really understand what ‘every possibility’ means?”

Aptly, the Major Arcana card X – The Wheel of Fortune shows up to again challenge everything “we think we know.” The Wheel represents the cycles of life, it’s fullness and completeness, and yes that includes pain, heartbreak and grief too.

This pairing is an attempt to remind us that what we believe is ‘true’ for us. That is why we must all guard our faith, not relinquishing our power to anything demanding it via the vanity of human ego and the desire to be “right,” but rather only to that which our faith is inherently devoted: Truth. We can find justification, excuses and reason anywhere we look for it, but it is our responsibility to ensure what we are making allowances for is what we want to be responsible for permitting, encouraging and enabling in this world.

Reimagine everything. We must take responsibility for the evil we see in the world and dare to demand better – first from ourselves, and then via the organic potency of Truth we will watch powerful change spread like wildfire.

We are a part of the cycle, if the egoic sickness of our species, society and culture persists, it is in part due to our participation, regardless of how passive and apathetic we are. We must “be the change [we] wish to see in the world,” or be willing to be an accomplice to the unimaginative and disempowered cycles we’d rather merely complain about.

Our Greatest Obstacles will Always be Those We Insist Upon

Smokey Quartz and the Two of Swords

Smokey Quartz is a neutralizing, clearing and balancing frequency, very powerful for transmutation and alchemy. The Two of Swords card represents a stalemate of mind, indecision and duplicitous thoughts. In this next position we have the extremes of our mental realms being brought into balance.

We know life is hard. We know life isn’t fair. We know we’re here to “struggle until we die.” Right?

What we think we ‘know’ inherently binds us. That’s why cognitive dissonance is so valuable for adaptations and progress. We have to challenge ourselves, bring things back into balance and avoid extremes. This doesn’t nullify the statements above, but it does inform and reclaim them.

Yes, life is hard, and it is often the most difficult and painful experience that provide us with strength, confidence and wisdom. Yes, life isn’t fair, and as a result our novelty and progress obsessed human intellects get to explore, examine and grow throughout our lives. Yes, we can certainly “struggle until we die,” chosing to ignore the miracles all around us, set in trying to survive by our own justifications and efforts, but we can also choose to enjoy each moment as another opportunity for life and all it’s dynamic fulness.

We have the power. This placement is asking us all to consider why we have chosen to invest our power into the outcomes we are experiencing in life right now and what would we need to change within our perspectives and understanding in order to foster more balance instead of extremes?

The Most Ancient Wisdom Reemerging

The Key, Garnet and II – The High Priestess

We have reached the split in the cast here at the placement of the Key. Signifying “answers” or revelations, the Key has two messages for us this month.

This first side of the Key, designated by a tear-drop Garnet, represents the most ancient and mythological archetype of Genius or “everything that makes us that does not belong to us.” This is the primordial, ancient wisdom of our bones, blood, DNA and breath – the intelligence beyond our conciousness that orchestrates all the miracles we are blessed to be able to take for granted every day.

The High Priestess is a Major Arcana card that represents a strikingly similar archetypal energy: the forgotten wisdom of the Divine’s consorts. She is the Devoted of Genius, the Lover of God and the Mistress of Majesty. She has forsaken everything with the exception of Divine Truth and finds her sustenance and power within all and every space and time, truly liberated through her blessed service.

We are being invited to come into this type of freedom and empowerment through our own recognition and devotion to the Divine. We are being asked to remember, beyond ourselves, to the depths of Truth. It is a reckoning – in response to all our cries for help and deliverance we are being asked to accept our Divine birthright, step into our power as a devotee of Purest Love and DO THE WORK.

If we are the hands and feet of God and we fail to perform our capable service, it is no fault of God’s for not forcing us. We must accept that we aren’t helpless, we are blessed, and it’s time we started acting accordingly.

Emboldening Our Quest for Truth

The Key, Snowy Quartz and The Kight of Swords

The next revelation the Key provides is designated by Snowy Quartz, which signifies a place of safety, home and comfort. The Kight of Swords has an aggressive mental energy, such as an insistence of knowledge. Energy created as a result of this placement is conflicting: we are being asked, yet again, to question everything we think we know.

Appering here, it is seemingly opposed to the energy of “accepting the Truths that exist independent of our understanding” that we just saw on the other side of the Key. In actuality, it is another invitation to expand and extend our consciousness into the dissonance of faith and discovery.

In this way, the Key has acted as a coin of sorts, with its two-sided placements representing the two sides that make up its whole. To come into Truth, we must be willing to accept that which is beyond our feeble human understanding as well as challenge the assertions of our ego’s “knowing” in order to do so.

Accepting the Responsibility of Being Our Own Masters

Fluorite, Jade wishing stone and The King of Swords

The final positions of the spread represent another split, supported and signified by fluorite. This crystal vibrates with a frequency of spiritual alchemy and transformation, crowning our January themes of metamorphosis and transition.

On this side we have Jade, and it also happens to be a wishing stone. This crystal has the energy of metaphysical favor, luck, abundance and spiritual wellbeing. Paired here with the King of Swords, I take this to be a very good sign for the results of all this tireless and difficult work of change. Doing this hard work will enable us to rise to the position of our soul’s highest potential.

The process of realigning with Truth and destiny is not one of subjugation, though our ego’s will try and entice us away with this assertion. Walking in the dignity and sovereignty of Divine grace provides the ultimate freedom through assurance, not that we will be everything to everyone but rather, that we are the only one who can be us.

We become the masters of our BEing not so that we can take as much as we can from the world – success, validation or experience – while we can. No, a true master of Self has no gluttony or greed to attain that which isn’t theirs and exists instead in the abundance of what they alone are inspired to give to the world. No one else can fulfill our destiny for us, we must work through our own karma and offer this world what we can – accepting that is the first step to true personal mastery.

Investing Our Power with Intention

Fluorite, Citrine and the King of Cups

Finishing out our first monthly reading of the decade, in the other crowning position supported by fluorite, we find a second King. This King of Cups falling as the final outcome, is informed by the crystal Citrine.

Citrine represents the prosperous material counterpart to the Jade energy we just saw in the corresponding fluorite supported position. This is money as opposed to love, time as opposed to respect and success as opposed to truth – the more modern-traditional, albeit shallow markers of wealth. The fact that we have both these material and ethereal stones of abundance appearing together supported by the spiritual alchemist frequencies of fluorite is quite profound in and of itself. Then of course come our glorious Kings, as if the Divine is simply showing us just how regal and magnificent the crowning of this month can be.

And what a set of Kings too. Acting as a sort of counterbalance to the energy of our King of Swords, the King of Cups brings the potentials of our mastery into manifestation. Claiming the formidable powers and potency of all emotions, he represents the element of water and the unbounded, reckless grace of the Divine.

Committing to the Divine is a bold act of faith that requires the willingness to feel it all: the heights of heavenly bliss as well as the ever collapsing depths of hell’s sorrow. It is the wisdom that love also contains grief, joy can require sacrifice and growing is often painful. To be enraptured by Spirit is not to be saved from this world but rather, to allow yourself to be used as a tool of Divine grace and blessings while you are still in it.

And with that my beloveds, Blessed Be!

We can never go back. Despite the remaining days of 2019, the second decade of the 21st century is over. That is how quickly the changes of 2020 are coming for us.

New Year, New Deck

The Shaman’s Oracle Deck; Reading for the Annular Solar Eclipse/New Moon December 2019

Father Time left behind a new Oracle Deck in my stocking this year, I’m excited to debut this new tool for today’s special reading.

Here is the Spread reference from it’s guidebook:

From The Shaman’s Oracle Deck

Also unique to this deck are the two cards at the bottom of the Spread, the Journeyer and the Companion:

The Jorneyer and The Companion – The Shaman’s Oracle Deck

According to the guidebook, these cards are pulled for every reading and represent the relationships Seeker and the Shamanic guide respectively.

The Cave of Ice: Tribe of Spirits

“In many images of prehistoric cave art we find the spirits represented – figures who are sometimes strange to our eyes, but always powerful and often deeply moving.”

The Shaman’s Oracle Deck
Spirit of Wisdom – The Shaman’s Oracle Deck

“I am the Spirit of Wisdom. I put you in touch with deeper levels of knowledge and transmute them into the gold of true understanding.”

The Shaman’s Oracle Deck

We have learned. It hasn’t been easy. It wasn’t always fun and we’re not even sure yet that all of it was worth it.

Mistakes we made. Promises we broke. People we hurt, sometimes even because of trying not to hurt anyone.

We have had to come to terms with our humanity and the shortcomings that includes. Like a mirror, reflecting back only the truth, the cosmos has been reminding us of our shit again and again lately.

Wisdom is the result of all that brutal, world-shattering honesty. Confronting the shadow, taking responsibility for our pain – it’s all been essential for our understanding. Now, we can go forth without our ignorance and justifications.

The Cave of Winds: Tribe of Shamans

“Here are the shamans of ancient times – the walkers between worlds who journeyed to the realm of Spirit.”

The Shaman’s Oracle Deck
Shaman of Foresight – The Shaman’s Oracle Deck

“I am the Shaman of Foresight… I can teach you to see beyond the moment, to live in such a way that whatever new task you undertake, you are always ready to adjust accordingly.”

The Shaman’s Oracle Deck

It is our experience and wisdom that gives us the confidence of Foresight. This is not an assurance that everything will go right, but an inner strength in knowing that even if everything goes wrong, we will find a way to endure.

Perseverance comes not from never having been tested, but in meeting resistance again and again without faltering. Foresight is an application of wisdom and means doing the hard things now so that the hard things of the future are easier.

Instead of betting against our future, saving the daunting tasks on our to do lists for tomorrow, or trying to heal our gangrenous traumas with “positive thinking” bandaids, we have to do the work that will get the results we want and need to see in our lives. Both for the benefit of ourselves, but for universal optimization as well.

The Cave of Hearthfires: Tribe of Dancers

“In spiritual terms, dancers dance for a reason – most often a powerful desire to enter more deeply into the heart of being.”

The Shaman’s Oracle Deck

“I am the Dancer of Joy. I dance for the very joy of being alive, for the wisdom and sense of fulfillment that are everywhere around me.”

The Shaman’s Oracle Deck

Wisdom isn’t just about Foresight and experience though, it also brings a depth of joy few get to experience in this life for fear of being swallowed by the enormity of their feelings. True love comes at the cost of grief, the hights of achievement are sustained only by equally plunging roots – all of life’s beauties would be diminished of not for the juxtaposition and contrast of nature’s imperfections.

It is Wisdom that enables true mindfulness. We cannot be fully present without coming into the humbling experience of our humanity and awe of existence’s expansiveness. It is in this place of enraptured elation that we find Divinity – as something not outside or separate from ourselves or any other – within, providing the grace and strength of life.

We have the choice to recieve each of our breaths as a gift, to hear our heart’s beating as our own unique love song from the cosmic order. We do not have to accept or appreciate the joy available to us, but true Wisdom makes it impossible to see the world as anything less than miraculous.

The Cave of Rivers: Tribe of Hunters

“A hunter setting forth would spend hours in contemplation of the creature he intended to hunt – making peace with its spirit or drawing its own strength into himself.”

The Shaman’s Oracle Deck

“I am the Hunter of Death. I seek the change that comes with new directions and new possibilities. I am not one who breaks or destroys but one who builds and restores.”

The Shaman’s Oracle Deck

Indeed, new beginnings are upon us. The future waits for no one and it is challenging us to bring our best.

The Spirit of Wisdom changes everything. Pain is no longer something to avoid or cause to sacrifice joy. We have awareness of our power again, and now, a renewal of responsibility.

We have the truth, we have learned, ached and grown for it – experiencing the full richness of this life’s peaks and valleys and coming into ourselves as capable, even if still trembling. We know what trappings of the past we need to leave behind, and we must be ruthless and exacting in our execution.

The Cave of Earth: Tribe of Ancestors

“The Ancestors hold the memory of every experience and insight that we, as human beings, have had.”

The Shaman’s Oracle Deck

“I am the Ancestor of Knowing. I am the embodiment of all knowledge, and will show you the way toward a proper understanding of everything around you.”

The Shaman’s Oracle Deck

Wisdom also gives us access to our genius – everything that we are that we are not responsible for. Seeing clearly brings recognition of the infinite ties and connections to others, and even further still to music, plants, animals, this planet and other heavenly bodies.

It is through this pure connection, through consideration and conceptualization, that true optimization can be achieved. It is our diversity of perspectives that help to construct the full spectrum of our holographic existence. We all need each other and the blessings of others are truly our own blessings as well.

As long as their is suffering in the world, it matters not how well the few or “best” of us are doing. If our species prospers at the expense of all others, it shall be considered no proud achievement, for we are capable of and blessed by far more.

Challenges are not our conditions, they are opportunities to grow beyond our perceived limitations. We are better together and it is together that we will change our impact for the better in this world.

A Powerful Message for the New Year

In 2020 we will be given the blessing of clear sight, and with it the responsibility of Wisdom. We will be radically challenged and drastically changed by a renewal of authentic appreciation and adoration for the blessing of life and the potential of our power. We will be all be called to rise up into the glory of grace and sovereignty.

Blessed Be Beloveds!

Coming into our last full week of 2019, the big event is sure to be the Annular Solar Eclipse and New Moon on the 26th. In many ways, we have been preparing for this all fall.

Now that winter is officially here, all of the reflections and considerations of these past few months are coming to a head. The time for deciding what meaning it will make is now.

Designing Destiny

Indeed, we are the meaning makers. No matter what has transpired, whether traditionally deemed “good” or “bad,” meaning is never fixed until/unless we decide it is.

This is why we all appreciate a good underdog story. When someone chooses to defy the odds and create powerful meaning in their lives, it reminds us of what is possible.

The true value of humanity is in our curiosity and creativity. Through ingenuity and diversity we are problem solvers and progress backers, it’s in our very nature. We are in a way, multipliers.

We take our experience and create data or understanding from it, providing feedback through our reactions, like user-testers of a quantum cosmic program. Our feedback influences the program, whether we are conscious of it or not, and there are far reaching reverberations of those effects throughout all of humanity.

The Nihilistic Paradox

I wrote a poem by that name in September, channeling and foreshadowing the work our spirits would be coming through this fall, even before the Equinox. Now here we are, being asked frankly: what will we make of our lives?

This week we are being challenged to consider our own creative power, and as you will see, much of it is in the smallest details. It’s really not so much about what happens to us as it is how we make meaning of what happens to us:

From The Universe Has Your Back Deck

“Obstacles are detours in the right direction.”

From The Universe Has Your Back Deck

Things haven’t been easy, so what? Is that what you’re really here for, an easy life? Do you truly believe that in an unjust world you are deserving of favor or fairness and ease?

We have to pull ourselves up out of our self-pity, and with a foundation of self-love and personal responsibility, we have to take back our world. It’s not fair, it’s not fun, it’s not easy, but the alternative is that we’re content being a bunch of whiney, manipulative and spoiled brats who sit around complaining about how we got the wrong flavor of ice cream instead of being grateful we got fucking icecream at all (this goes out to all my privileged, first-world homies).

What do we want to be remembered for and how are we creating THAT in our world? We are the meaning makers, without us doing our jobs and reclaiming our power, yes – life is meaningless.

Remembering Our Strength

From The Universe Has Your Back Deck

“The key to prayer is to forget what I think I need.”

From The Universe Has Your Back Deck

We reclaim power over what is or has been through our ability to make meaning, but we actually reclaim power over our future by releasing control over potential outcomes. Still with me?

See, this world has it backwards, trying to make meaning of futures before they have them, creating attachments and expectations, we’re all just setting ourselves up for disappointment after disappointment. We know that we cannot control what happens to us, and that it’s all meaningless until we manufacture meaning for ourselves, but we must also consider what can happen when we are projecting our power rather than applying it.

Sure, fantasizing about the future is fun. Our imaginations can run wild, unencumbered by the realities and conditions of the past and present – but we don’t make meaning in these ways. We can actually even drain the potential meaning from our reality by investing our energy into impossibilities.

This second card is asking us to suspend our projections of meaning on the future and instead place our faith back in the divine, knowing no matter what transpires we have still been given the ability to make whatever meaning from it we dare. That is true trust in the magnificence of an omnipotent creator, believing in our own fate, standing strong on our path, ready to face whatever might lay ahead without preference for “easy,” “comfortable” or even “fair.”

We must remember the strength of the Divine in us when we pray, and beg not to be spared, like unworthy outcasts, but rather offer ourselves fully to the path set out before us. We can be honored and take pleasure in whatever danger and difficulties may be ahead, knowing it is all testament to our Divine strength within.

Choosing Blessing

From The Universe Has Your Back Deck

“I find a deeper meaning and personal growth amid the discomfort.”

From The Universe Has Your Back Deck

We are only as strong as we let ourselves be. Whether we believe we can or we cannot, we are right.

It may be tempting to blame all our problems on things we cannot control, but that renders us powerless. We can live lives that are meaningless, we can sacrifice ourselves to the complaints and discomforts of being eternal victims, we can find as many excuses and justifications as we so desire. Or we can decide to be more.

As we approach this monumental day of intention, may we all remember our true power. May we all choose blessing in our lives and release our attachments to curses. Blessed Be Beloveds!

BONUS: the cosmos is just being funny now! Loved the succinct wrap up of this week’s Divination in this fortune though:

Astrology, Numerology and Divination are tools used by mystics to channel messages from the Divine. All guidance and understanding offered by mayryanna for Optimal Mastery is channeled for Awakened Souls and will be applicable only to those who are seeking to harmonize with the grand symphony of life. Sun sign astrology, horoscopes and more personalized divination are not published for general consumption on OM. For personal quandaries or specialized guidance, please make an appointment with mayryanna.

At 12:12am EST time today, December (12) 12, 2019 (which numerologically reduces to 12), we had our Gemini moon reach peak fullness. The final full Moon of the decade, it seems to be signaling a powerful wave of competition. 12 is a magickal number, considered an angel number, that signifies fulfillment, wholeness and completion.

In the 12 we see a beautiful unity formed between the individual 1 and the partnering 2, which then numerologically reduces to 3, the number of manifestation, fertility and family. It is the number of promises fulfilled, though not necessarily dreams come true. It represents the fruition or consequences of choices, partnerships and experiences.

Personally, I intuit the number 12 to represent the individual in relationship to the divine. It is the perfect, sometimes wonderful and sometimes terrible, but always true reflection of life manifest.

So what does not one, not two but five 12s symbolize? As if there haven’t already been enough cosmic indicators to slow down and pay attention throughout the past 6 months, it’s as if existence itself is screaming, waving sparklers and jumping up and down to get our attention right now.

“Remember. Remember. Remember. Remember. Remember.”

12:12 12.12.12 Code

Rewinding the Calendar

As I sat to prepare for today’s Divination, I felt myself called by the number 12. Like an echo, the months of the year seemed to reverberate through my mind. A review, of the entire year – yes, indeed – this is the channel:

12:12 12.12.12 Rune and Tarot Divination

I began with the Runes, casting them like rain as I chanted my invocation and intention, letting them fall naturally from my hands as I shook them all together. It wasn’t until I began to examine them afterward that I noticed they had fallen towards each of the Sabbats on my table tapestry, so I straightened them into a grid, mindful of the two extra that placed themselves at the top of the mat near the goddess’ hands and Yule.

I felt guided to read the Runes clockwise, beginning with Imbolc and working around to Yule, as well as that the cast was referencing this past year: 2019. Here are the Rune’s reflections of all the themes we have come through:

Early 2019: Berkana

Representing the beginning of this past year, the Rune Berkana is one of fertility and suitably, new beginnings. Perhaps we were still completely unaware of all the changes and growth to come throughout 2019, perhaps we didn’t yet dare to hope for this year to be one of tremendous change and revelation, but this casting shows that that’s exactly what it was always going to be: we were starting something.

Despite how shaky or unsure we might have felt at the time, we began this year in strength. There were decisions and commitments made that would color and inform the rest of our year. Depending on how ready and willing we were to take the opportunity, make the choice or take the risk, everything was available to us.

Spring 2019: Teiwaz

Our early excitment lead to some victories in Spring of 2019, as indicated here by Teiwaz. We made our choice, put in the work and them got to reap the rewards. All was as it should be, perhaps even seeming too good to be true.

Some of us might have even been asking, is it really this easy? Alas, this Rune is also that of the warrior, and though at first our show of strength was reassuring, it ultimately portends our responsibility as well, and it is this divine birthright that we had only begin to explore.

Late Spring 2019: Inguz

Another positive rune, Inguz is another fertility Rune and quite suited to Beltane, the Sabbat that celebrates just that. It was at this time of year that we started taking ourselves, our gifts, our strengths – everything – more seriously. We started to think about what we wanted to make of our days more and more as they grew ever longer. The doubts we may have had in the beginning of the year started to dissipate and our confidence started growing.

The universe was ripe with blessings and we were hungry with passion. Perhaps this even led to some overeagerness and hypersensitivity, but we were feeling powerful and guided all the same. There was a flow and a grace, even amidst our vulnerable lusts.

Early Summer 2019: Kaunaz

Then there was summer and we were all reminded of humility. Grace took on new meaning as each of us learned to wade through luck of all kinds. We had to relearn blessing and prosperity, many of us finding ourselves counting our fortune in ways we couldn’t have imagined before.

None of us know what we have until it’s gone – or maybe almost gone? Maybe we don’t have to lose it all? Maybe we don’t have to hit rock bottom? Not all luck is treasure, sometimes it’s a narrow miss with horrible detriment or a hard lesson learned, and boy did we get to experience this jolt in perspective as the long days of summer reigned.

Late Summer 2019: Eiwaz

Though our summer started with a bit of an ego check, we were assisted into integration by our faith and guides. This is as soothing as it is startling. In some traditions, Eiwaz is the Rune of death, but it is also the Rune of magick.

We had been foolish enough to think that we were blessed because we are deserving, and we had to be reminded that blessing is always undeserved. It’s not a crisis, but it is still painful. It is learning, it is growing – it is rebirth. Our joy and passion began to take on a more serious note as we started to consider how much of our lives we can be grateful for – and what that truly looks like when it’s being lived instead of just said.

Early Fall 2019: Othila

With rekindled sensitivity and modesty, summer left us primed for fall’s introduction of the real work of 2019: an honest inventory of our inheritance. Not just our family dynamics, but our humanity and even earthly existence came to the forefront. We were invited to witness the trappings of grace and responsibility even further beyond what we had already learned.

We began to make plans, plans to fail, but to fail again and again – to try and fail as many times as necessary to overcome the worst and become the better. We started internalizing and examining, seeking in earnest. Deep desires for legacy, contribution and progress began taking root in our hearts and minds.

Late Fall 2019: Thurisaz

As the Pagan New Year crossed over we felt as though we were entirely different people than in early 2019. As we were prompted to look back and reflect, we began to see how our naivety checkered the year already, and yet also, how very much has been learned. Simultaneously reminded of our need for growth and our remarkable ability to do so.

Suitably, Thurisaz is the Rune of regeneration, landing here on the night of Hallow’s Eve. This year we began to seek more meaning and honor for our ancestors, even those who have wronged us, by learning how to be grateful for the hard, real things. We all felt the veil thinning this year, even if we wanted to deny it, and we are all left to reckon with our own experiences.

Back to Now

Winter 2019 (NOW): Gebo, Nyd and Mannaz (top, left, right)

The Rune Gebo ends our reading quite beautifully, as if to remind us that all of it – the ups, the downs and even the inside-outs – all of 2019 was a gift. We are loved, and through this incredible journey called life, we are all married to the process of existing, growing, learning and ultimately loving as well.

This Rune is symbolic of a gift and is also the Rune of marriage. This is one of few Runes that has no possible reverse meaning and is typically always positive.

To further inform this blessing of Gebo for the end of our year, for right now and for always, we have the two Runes Nyd and Mannaz. Nyd has fallen reversed, the first and only reversal in this Rune cast, and is not a true reversal by its nature. Nyd (need) represents the distance between ourselves and our purpose, the great cavern of experienced to be traversed on the journey from survival to thriving, and there’s really no way around that – or is there?

I believe that the Nyd reversal here echos the themes of this year’s journey; through all of the ebbs and flows, there is grace that persists should we choose to accept it. Should we choose to be grateful, to seek the beauty amidst the travesty, we can indeed be fulfilled regardless of our lack. We have come to understand that having is evidence of wanting, for we cannot acquire without need, we cannot grow without pain and we cannot achieve without overcoming. Perhaps it isn’t these spaces of void that are detrimental, but the potential for despair when we focus only on what isn’t rather on what could be.

Finally, our Winter 2019 Rune cast is sealed with Mannaz, the rune of humanity. Perfect isn’t it? To seal a year of imperfect failing, discovery, re-commitment and revelation with a symbol for all of that very human processing.

So what, we don’t get everything right! So what it’s hard! We know now, difficulties exist to be overcome. We have remembered that within the fabric of our human existence is passion and hunger for progress and we are only just beginning to realize the extent of what that means for us personally.

The Endless Truth

To conclude my divination, I drew four Tarot cards from my Shadowscapes deck to represent 1) what we are leaving behind in 2019, 2) what we are taking with us into 2020, 3) what we’ve learned and 4) what makes this all possible:

From the Shadowscapes Tarot Deck

What we are leaving behind in 2019

XIX – The Sun (reversed)

What a glorious blessing indeed! We are leaving behind those distortions, ideals and conditions that have kept us from experiencing true joy and abundance!

XIX – The Sun is the 20th Major Arcana card (they begin at 0) and represents the best, brightest and most blessed beauties and bounties of life. Showing up here reversed indicates that we have been blocking the fullness of these things in our life, most likely inwardly through mental, emotional and spiritual blocks. Leaving this tendency to rob ourselves behind is surely one of the greatest gifts we could be given, and reflects the messages of the Runes:

“Do not take forward with you those burdens that belong to the person who has not learned the hard lessons of your life. Rejoice that you have survived. Give thanks for your enduring spirit. For life is not truly bountiful without also containing difficulties as well as the confidence and wisdom gained through overcoming them.”

mayryanna’s channel

What we are taking with us into 2020

I – The Magician

Another Major Arcana Card and another blessing, I – The Magician represents the archetype of the alchemist. As we approach 2020 we can do so with pride, not in our abilities to do everything, but in our abilities to learn anything. In this way we are the masters of our destiny and manifesters of our dreams: we can grow, learn change and master ourselves, becoming optimal not in spite of the challenges along the way but because of all the experience they have given us.

This is a powerful message for us and our new year, it’s as if the cosmos is asking us, what will you do with 2020? How will you show up? What difference will you make? Now that we know our birthright is love and its cost is grief, now that we have come to terms with our humanity and the hard won value of our life lived, now that we have seen both the responsibility we have to progress as well as the grace that sustains us beyond our abilities – what won’t we do in 2020?

What we’ve learned

Page of Cups

It’s true, 2019 wasn’t an “easy” year, but arguably that made it better. We learned a lot, about learning. More specifically, we began to learn how to not only hear the subtle messages of our emotions, but also listen to them, honor and appreciate them. We began to conceptualize that the extremes are only ever a part of the story, and that on the other side of grief there is always love.

Regardless of pain or joy, we have come to understand that life’s fullness is all valuable. We have come to appreciate doing the hard things, showing up for others and ourselves when it’s uncomfortable and unpopular. In this way, we have learned to reclaim the depths of ourselves, becoming both our own student as well as our own master.

What makes this all possible

XIII – Death

Ah yes, the Major Arcana card XIII – Death – it’s always getting a bad wrap. That’s because often Western ideology interprets the act of dying as a process of loss, but we must remember that the science and mythos of Tarot predates these modern assumptions and tainting. In Tarot, Death is Rebirth.

You can see that depicted beautifully in the depiction of the Phoenix on this Shadowscapes card. This mythological creature rises from the ashes of its own transformation. Another way of thinking about it is as the process a caterpillar goes through when it becomes a butterfly; all that was is destroyed in order to create the new.

That is what makes all of this possible – all of the grace, progress and learning – we owe it all to transformation. The ability to die to our past and take up our future every day is what keeps the wheel turning. It is never too late, each moment another chance to start over again, and by knowing that we can approach 2020 and every blessed year with excitement for what we want to create!

Blessed be beloveds, may our final weeks of 2019 be filled with gifts and love!